Nail Catcher - When you gotta clip!

The following was posted by Eva:

Last night I noticed that the nail on the second toe from the outside of my right foot had chipped.In a fit of profound laziness I decided it was too much work to get the clippers out of the cabinet for one little toe nail. The nail in question was not jagged, would not snag on anything so I went to bed, intending to take care of it when I was in a mind to do a proper job maintaining all of my toes.Last night in my dreams I was haunted by that toe nail. All night long in the back ground of my otherwise peaceful dreaming the knowledge of that one uneven toe nail scraped against the subconscious of my subconscious.This morning I refused to give in to the pesky nagging nail. It would get taken care of when I was good and ready and not a minute sooner.During nap time, after I finished my work I treated myself to a pedicure. (Though I'm not sure if it counts as "treating" if you do it yourself) I clipped and filed, buffed and painted. Now my nails are deep purple, shiny, and chip free.I plan on sweet dreams tonight.
http://uniquety.blogspot.com/2008/11/nag.html

Just goes to show you that keeping a small Artemis Woman Nail Catcher by the bed makes sense for emergencies and for sweet dreams! Visit our website to get yours today.

Another call for the Artemis Woman Nail Catcher!

As I've mentioned before, you can't make this stuff up!

"Yesterday, in the reception area of the salon, he grabbed a pair of toenail clippers, the big professional kind that look like small garden shears, and sat struggling to cut his fingernails with them. When he was done and his fingernail parings lay scattered all over the floor he took off his loafers and began trimming his toenails. A client walked in and he smiled and said hello pleasantly and went back to straining to clip a particularly recalcitrant nail. Oblivious." - from Confessions of a Bikini Waxer

Another example of ToeNail Interruptus! Nail Catcher to the rescue!

A Perfect Pedicture from Artemis Woman

Taking care of your feet is as important as brushing your teeth. Don't ignore them. A pedicure can be quick and easy or slow and relaxing. You set the tone.

1. Begin by removing any polish from your toenails.
2. Next, soak your feet in in a basin of warm water with epsom salts or an essential oil for at least 5 minutes.
3. Dry your feet and massage them by walking your thumbs up and down the soles. Don't forget your toes!
4. Clip toenails to just below the tip of your toes. We recommend using the Artemis Woman Nail Catcher to avoid nail clippings from flying around.
5. Using an emery board, file any rough edges and round off the nails at the corners to prevent the nail from growing in.
6. Slough off dead, dry skin and remove hard calluses with the Artemis Woman Heel Smoother. It is quick, safe and easy to use. Avoid razors or graters that can cut or over-exfoliate your feet.
7. Now moisturize and protect that newly-revealed skin with an all-natural lotion.
8. Your feet are now ready for buffing or polish -- as always, your choice! Enjoy!

Free Artemis Woman Nail Catcher

It's great to find other websites talking about our products. And as I thought, there are lots of unsettling stories out there on how people clip their nails or what they do with the clippings.
Just this week I found this on Alyse's website http://www.sporkfashion.com/:

"When I clip my nails, I generally do it carefully so I can easily collect all the clippings. Easily one of the most disgusting things is to step on an errant nail clipping. Mr. Spork, like any typical guy, does not seem to worry about this, leading to some unpleasant discoveries and unpleasant conversations..."

I think Alyse is a pretty smart lady for getting the Artemis Woman Nail Catcher! Visit her website, there's some really good stuff on it! What do you do with your nail clippings? Tell us and get a FREE Artemis Woman Nail Catcher.

Talking ToeNails with Friends

OK, I admit it, I am not much of a cocktail party conversationalist. I trip over myself as I ask people what they do for a living. So you can imagine how difficult it must be for me to get people to expose their toenail clipping habits, just so I can share them with you! But in talking about one of my favorite subjects dogs (the other is gardening), a woman shared the following:

Her pug kept scratching at the carpet, which is usually a sign of nesting. But then the little pugger would jump up and down and then relax for a while. After a few times, the woman got down on her hands and knees to try to figure out what her dog was doing, thinking perhaps there were some food crumbs in the rug. As she watched, the dog started scratching the carpet and the woman saw these white nail shards flying up; the pug would try to catch them and then lay back down to eat them! Oooooh - another disgusting tale!

I promised the woman I would get her the Artemis Woman Nail Catcher.

Artemis Woman Nail Catcher Can Help the World

Toenail Clipping societies are becoming more mainstream as the many important uses of the skill go beyond simple sacred ceremonies. New uses for toenails have been discovered in science, medicine and as potential solutions to world hunger and poverty.

A new MIT department has recently been founded, with funding from the US government, approved by George W. Bush himself. Bush has was quoted recently, at a party fundraising dinner, as saying "Toenails are the next fossil fuels and have great potential in solving global warming, once and for all! It's about time we all learned about the benefits of toenails".

New regulations are now being drafted in congress about the responsible use of advanced toenail clipping as the skills could be dangerous if they were to fall in the wrong hands. This has brought to light the need for advanced training and supervision for all toenail clipping enthusiasts the world wide.

Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Advanced_Toenail_Clipping"

Shards in the Sheets

I get together with girlfriends for drinks once or twice a month to catch up on life. We talk about the ups and downs of what's going on with families, with jobs and, of course, with relationships. I was recently told this story by my friend, Leslie. She was relaxing one evening reading a novel in her den. Her partner, Joe, was puttering about in the bedroom getting ready for a business trip. As the evening wore on, she put on her nightshirt and got ready for bed. She turned out the lights and slipped under the covers. As she tossed to get comfortable, Leslie felt scratching on her legs. Thinking she might be getting bit by a bug, she turned the bedroom light on, rolled back the blankets and found a pile of nail clippings in the bed! Joe just looked at her sheepishly and said, "Ooops! I forgot about those."

I think at that point Leslie went into the guest room and slept there. Some months later, Leslie and Joe split up. Do you think an Artemis Woman Nail Catcher might have saved that relationship?

http://www.artemiswoman.com/Nail_Catcher.html